Our parents are the most familiar people in the world, but sometimes they can be the most mysterious as well. Whether you’re completing a family legacy project or looking for things to talk about while visiting or providing daily care, it begs the question: how well do we really know our elders? Who is Mom as a person? What was Dad like when he was growing up? What experiences most impacted their lives? What were their hopes, dreams and regrets?
As adults, it is easy to assume that we know everything about our parents or grandparents and that we have already heard all their stories. The truth is that many of us don’t ask our elders nearly enough about their lives, especially as they get older. There’s no better way to get closer to a person, even if you’ve known them your whole life.
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Meaningful questions to ask elderly family members to build relationships
Growing up, I only saw my grandparents twice a year and would beg to hear their stories whenever I got the chance to be with them. My grandfather was candid and loved to laugh about his wild misadventures, like being stuck on top of a train car during the great Kansas City flood of 1951. Or how when he was in his 20s, he drove Elvis Presley through Germany.
Questions to Ask Older Adults About Their Childhood
The world changes with every generation. Plus, with increasing technological advancements, those days seem more and more unrecognizable.
This question could elicit several stories about mischief. Plus, youll discover something called free-range parenting.
This question should give some perspective on riding the bus. Most parents didnt buy their kids cars at age 16, although kids today think they automatically deserve one.
This tells you two quick things about someone. One, youll find out whether he or she loved English and hated science and how that impacted a future career choice.
Some shenanigans are worth retelling. This question lets you find out whether an older adult was an angel or a little naughtier than that.
What you may find is that the person with whom you are talking sees life as a complete journey. Maybe he or she was propelled forward by the very thing that was supposed to hold him or her back.
There was a time when there werent cellphones, social media, or Snapchat. In fact, there was a time when the phone line had something called a party line.
You might learn about a giant accordion on the school bus every day of the week. Or maybe there was a college scholarship to play in the college orchestra. You may even learn that an elder gave everything up to start a family.
Even if an elder never faced food insecurity, he or she knew someone who did. This opens the door for an essential history lesson on how people used to treat the impoverished “back when.”
Cognitive Functioning and Self-Esteem
Seniors who are suffering from varying levels of impairment benefit tremendously from structured reminiscence. Professionals who care for the elderly often use activities and even props to conjure up memories to spur on productive conversations. Music, photographs, special memorabilia and movies are some tools used to trigger their recollections.
Research has shown that structured reminiscence as group therapy can improve self-esteem and reduce symptoms of depression and increase life satisfaction.
FAQ
What are some good questions to ask an elderly person?
- What do you remember about the place you grew up in? …
- What was your first job? …
- Do you know the history of your family name, crest, or origin? …
- What do you remember about your parents and grandparents? …
- How did you meet your spouse?
How do you interview an elderly relative?
- How was your name chosen?
- What were things like when you were growing up?
- What are your most fond memories of childhood?
- What kind of house did you grown up in?
- What is your favorite memory as a child?
- What do you know about your family’s heritage?
What can you learn from interviewing an elderly person?
- Do You Have a Durable Power of Attorney? …
- What Are Your End-of-Life Wishes? …
- Do You Have a Will or Living Trust? …
- Do You Have Long-Term Care Insurance or Another Plan in Case Long-Term Care is Required?
